she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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