I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
