We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
