feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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