You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
