So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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