Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
