What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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