I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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