I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
