no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
