Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Im part way to drunk.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
