I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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