I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
