I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
