Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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