you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
