I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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