remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
that is very illegal...i love you.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
