Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
