going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
