This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
