dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
