I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
