6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
pray to the hookup gods
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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