Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
