you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize