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Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
