im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
