im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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