i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
