his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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