No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
