I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
