Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
even my farts smell like vagina
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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