U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I fill condoms, not promises.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
this is an emotional support booty call
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
