you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I love black thongs
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
