Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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