Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
