I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
