STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
