Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
