On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
