I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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