how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
