you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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