His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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