he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
