just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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