i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
