Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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