just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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