I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
