Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(702): View more from Nevada

I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.

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(707): View more from California

He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".

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(415): View more from California

just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us

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(423): View more from Tennessee

My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029

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(916): View more from California

We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn

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(219): View more from Indiana

Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.

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