I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
