I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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