Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
