You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
