JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
