How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize