Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
