I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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