when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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