Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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